Long Time No See!

Um wow! So It's been a long time. My last blog post was 3rd August 2015, introducing Alice. And now she's 6.5 months old! CRAZY! 

To be honest I've been toying with the idea of getting back in to blogging as I've got a few things happening in my personal life at the moment and think that maybe having an outlet might help. Also it might help me reach out to people but at the same time the whole idea is scary. Putting myself out there when I'm vulnerable and not even knowing if anyone to reading, interested or anything like that. 

I have recently started following alot of youtube daily vloggers and even talked to Richard about my interest in that - very much outside my comfort zone but love the idea. So thought that maybe I could start by blogging, whether it be weekly, daily or every few days. Just to see if I can keep up with it, if it helps me and if I can contact with people. 

So it would be great if there any still any followers to comment there thoughts.

I'd love to do posts on things other then my boring day as well if theres interest in other things.

Thanks for any feedback!

Introducing....

Announcing the greatly anticipated birth of Alice Lindsay Masters, 

21st July 2015, 5:42am at 8lb 7oz.

Via a natural birth, with the use of an episiotomy and forceps after a 'fast & furious' 4hrs 52 minute labor with no pain killers other then gas & air. 

1 week old

I do apologies as it was been a hazy couple of weeks and I haven't been able to update. 

I also have been umming and ahhing about whether or not to share my birth story as it is not one of the good ones, it was very traumatic. Not only for myself but for my support team as well. Recovery will take the full 6 weeks, if not longer I've been told. I n't want to be that person who gives horror stories to first time mums. I know every birth and labor is different, and all I know is no one can prepare you for it; 

Maybe when the whole experience isn't still so raw I might consider putting it all down in writing. 

All I know is, is that Alice is finally here and we love her more then anything in this world.

I did have alot of trouble breast feeding in the hospital - with little to no help, causing alot of damage and meaning I couldn't breast feed. Alice also wasn't latching either, This meant I had to supplement with formula til I worked out what I was doing, which was hard as it wasn't something I wanted to do - especially by day 2. So long story short, I am now exclusively pumping breast milk and feeding Alice via a bottle. This means that my husband and family can feed her aswell. It does however mean alot of time and commitment from myself. It is hard work, thats for sure. But to know I am the sole reason our baby is thriving makes it worth it - even if I feel like a jersey cow all the time. 

Alice is simply amazing, such a good baby!

I am sore, tired and just plain exhausted but I love my new little family. Alice and my husband have made my life complete.

Week 39

Well I'm still here and still very pregnant.

It's been an exhausting two weeks of pre-labor. With on/off contractions.

Yesterday I finally gave in and moved my next antenatal appointment up to that afternoon. 

I'm losing my mind, emotionally and physically exhausted!

The doctor took one look at me and just felt sorry for me. No one tells you or prepares you for weeks of pre-labor! She did all the usual checks and everything was normal. Baby isn't oversized or anything like I was getting worried about, all normal. She offered to do an internal and do a stretch & sweep whilst she was there in the hopes to get things progressing- usually they don't offer this til your overdue but she just felt so sorry for me. I agreed. I'm 1cm dilated already (thank-god) which she was impressed with for a first time mum, but that does mean that all these pains and uncomfortable-ness are doing something. She was even able to touch babies head she is so unbelievably low - that was an odd feeling. (TMI - the stretch & sweep procedure has budged my mucous plug so that's a start - however nothing else yet)

The doctor has also booked me in for a 41 weeks appointment plus ultrasound and an induction date has been booked if things don't progress themselves, although we are all hoping that Little Miss BB comes on her own! I'm hoping she's just like her mother and likes to be on time and will surprise us on her due date! Mind you I've hoped that she would arrive everyday for the last 3 weeks! Either way we have an estimated end date if she doesn't get a hurry on.

I am just over it though! People don't know what to say to me anymore and I don't really know what to do with myself anymore. The emotions are running high. I am constantly feeling as though I'm doing something wrong which is why she isn't here yet.

I just want her to hurry up so I can have her all to myself.