Week 34

I have an early update this fortnight, thought it was time to try and go back to weekly updates now that we are getting close to full-term. Not to mention a stressful week!

Yesterday I had my midwife appointment and long awaited appointment with the anesthetist. All that didn't go the way I was hoping and in all the waiting time took 4 hours at the hospital - very long day and ended with a phone call from my husband to say he'd had a minor car accident and his car was un-driveable but thankfully he was ok. 

Where to start? The midwife appointment started out normal as usual, arranging to get my whopping cough vaccine whilst I was there, blood pressure all normal... then I was measured and the nurse felt my belly. I'm measuring one week small all of a sudden and her reasoning was, which is the really clincher... Little Miss BB is posterior! My biggest fear with my back! It's the reason she is so active, Because all I feel are her hands and feet! So she needs to MOVE! and soon!

Next I got my whopping cough vaccine which thankfully was simple, easy and as a person with server needle phobia, drama free! 

Then the big appointment that has been booked for months and I had to wait over 2 hours for, the anesthetist. She was lovely but didn't really give me much confidence with anything. Apparently my back has me in a grey area when it comes to the epidural and a spinal. An epidural that up until I heard the words 'your baby is posterior' I didn't even want as an option but knowing that it means a longer and more painful labor would like for it to be at least on the table. In short she is happy to give the me the option of an epidural or spinal if a c-section is needed but can not guarantee that either will work. So in the end I might go through the trauma and pain of trying to get either and still end up with a general anesthetic. Plus what if that anesthetist isn't on when I'm in labor and I get one who isn't willing to 'give it a try'. I feel like there could be more trauma involved with having them as options then not. 

So I walked out of the hospital stressed, overwhelmed and not feeling any better about labor- I actually felt better about it before I went in! 

And to top off the day we are now down to one car til my husbands car can be fixed and out of pocket the excess on the insurance, all with 3-6 weeks before Little Miss BB arrives! I can't help but stress over anything and everything after a day like that. I am worried about my husband and the stress he is under which is making me stress and now worrying that Little Miss BB won't turn has me terrified! 

We are slowly being able to cross more things off the to do list but I feel my anxiety is making me feel like things aren't getting done soon enough and I am struggling to do things physically these days. Sleep is not something I have had in a long time! Being uncomfortable is becoming the new norm which I'm really struggling with. Pain and tiredness I can handle but discomfort I can't. 

I have my mental health midwife visiting on Friday which I think couldn't have come at a better time. Especially after yesterday! I've also got a few other fears and concerns with family and things that might happen when BB gets here that are really playing on my nerves, daily. 

All I know is it will all be worth it when we finally meet our baby girl - its just getting to that part thats the struggle at the moment.